Episode 9

The journey of quest

Fall 2015

I was getting very depressed.
I was worried that my work wasn’t going well, but I felt that the way I was depressed was a little different.
The anxious “black mist” in me feels more essential.
Obviously, I lost confidence day by day. It was a fascinating autumn for me.
The feeling of not being able to affirm myself is very painful. If that happens, you will not be able to breathe well.
A feeling that it doesn’t make sense whether it exists in this world or not.
When I think about it now, I can clearly say that the feeling of self-affirmation and the feeling of depression are some kind of sign from me.
However, at that time, meaningless time passed without being able to do anything.

Then I had an idea in my head that I couldn’t drown out.
Is there a beginning in the universe?
If there is a beginning, when do I exist?
What does it mean that it doesn’t exist?
If I had a beginning, “for example, if God created me,” what did I think at the beginning of that “my beginning” at the beginning of existence?
I was thinking about that at that time.
And strangely, I’m not sure, but I’m sure I’ll find the answer. At the same time, I had the feeling.

That’s why I decided to take Hypnotherapy again.